Monday, October 19, 2009

step AWAY from the pork chops

We've had kosher telephones. We've had kosher light switches. This week's contenders for the prize for extreme religious silliness are as follows:
  • The kosher lift.
  • The kosher fridge - what makes these fridges special is that they come with a "Sabbath Mode" capability which can be engaged by those concerned about desecrating the sanctity of the Sabbath while reaching for a pint of milk. Basically it's a sort of stealth mode where the light doesn't come on when you open the door, the compressor doesn't try to compensate for the inevitable rise in temperature when you open the door, etc. etc. I like to imagine that it's engaged by flicking a big switch whereupon a siren and big flashing yellow lights come on, a big rumbly computer voice intones "SABBATH MODE ENGAGED", and then the fridge settles down to a low hum, refuses to dispense anything except unleavened bread and gefilte fish, and keeps reminding you to phone your mother.
Of course even if you do manage to get hold of the milk without desecrating the Sabbath in any one of the myriad available ways, you still need a kosher kettle to make a cup of coffee. At which point you should probably seek professional assistance - fortunately much advice on kosher kitchen design is available, most of it entirely insane.

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