stroking dick through the covers

As a tribute to the current exciting Test series being played between England and New Zealand, I offer you this two-item list: former New Zealand Test bowlers whose names simultaneously conjure up thoughts of both male and female genitalia.

• Bob Cunis: the secret here is you've got to pronounce the surname with a short "u", i.e. to rhyme with "pumice" rather than "Eunice". Anyway, the famous quote about his name is usually attributed to commentator Alan Gibson, probably, if the references to his drinking habits in these two obituaries is to be believed, after a refreshing lunchtime tipple or two:

This is Cunis at the Vauxhall End. Cunis - a funny sort of name. Neither one thing nor the other.

• Dick Motz.