Wednesday, February 10, 2010

here's those close-up crotch shots you wanted

It would have been around the time I was at university that I first got into the habit of patching my jeans once they ripped or wore through - ripped jeans being quite fashionable in the late 1980s, but with the inevitable downside of eventually getting so ripped that either the whole leg came off or they ceased to adequately conceal one's genitalia. And when that happened one would incur the inevitable expense of a new pair - not good on a student budget. So patching it was. Also, I was starting to get into Neil Young and he was a pretty iconic patched jeans wearer, so what with him starting to emerge from his 1980s creative doldrums I could convince myself that it was at least partially cool.

Back then I was an archetypally skinny teenager of dubious drinking habits, so it would tend to be in the knee department that jeans would go first, what with the inevitable drunken falling over and the like. I had a couple of pairs that eventually ended up more patch than denim before they inevitably fell apart.

These days I am a gentleman of more ample and muscular buttock (but still dubious drinking habits) so it tends to be the crotch department that takes most of the strain, and therefore yields first under the immense pressure. So periodically things need patching up. Now of course you could argue that as I am also a man of more comfortable financial means these days I could just buy a new pair when this happens, and you are of course correct. However, I'm a bit hard to please over finding jeans that fit propertly, and these are my favourites, and they're a style that Next don't do any more, so I deem it to be worth the effort.

I only have a couple of pieces of advice for anyone seeking to repair jeans in a similar way: firstly it's worth taking a bit of care over it: small neat stitches hold together better and require less rework later. Secondly you need to be very careful about accidentally going through more layers of denim than you intend to, sewing a leg shut and then having to unpick everything at considerable cost in terms of time and annoyance. Thirdly, and most importantly, by far the best material to patch with is old underpants, as the material is stretchy and pretty tough. So if you've got some worn-out stretchy boxers you're thinking of throwing away, stick them in the sewing bag instead. Best give 'em a rinse first though.

Anyway, here's this week's handiwork - three pairs, before and after shots for each.

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