Tuesday, December 22, 2009

extended oral pleasure

Just a couple of further nuggets regarding the passing of Oral Roberts: firstly an update on the name. There is some evidence that the name Oral might be a German/Swiss derivation of Aurelius, which in turn derives from the Latin for "golden" or "gilded". This in turn is somehow appropriate given the amount of money the old fraud managed to swindle out of his flock.

Secondly, this Guardian interview with Randy Newman from 2003 reveals that Newman's father may quite plausibly have had his hand up Oral Roberts' arse on at least one occasion:
"My father was an aggressive atheist," says Newman, sitting in his west Hollywood office. Newman Sr, a doctor, dismissed religion as "bullshit" and was happy to expand on this theme to his many showbusiness patients. "Whether this is apocryphal or not, it's too good not to tell. My dad used to do house calls, and he got a call in the middle of the night from Oral Roberts [the famous television evangelist] who had haemorrhoids, really severe. My dad said, 'You call me at three in the morning - why don't you stick your own finger up your ass and cure yourself?'"
Finally, we're all aware of the bizarre contortions the religious can get themselves into on the subject of sex - scarcely surprising given that in most cases the god they believe in not only takes a weirdly prurient interest in what they do with their genitalia, but is also watching them absolutely all the time. It's like trying to get jiggy while your mother's in the room. Please note I have never done this, by the way. Anyway, here's a priceless clip in which Oral Roberts gives us the run-down on which sexual practices are acceptable and which are not, with some eye-wateringly specific details. Here's an extended remix.

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