Wednesday, March 31, 2010

everything is available (except the money)

I got this e-mail a couple of weeks ago:
Subject: Mrs Elizabeth Etters


Sent: 12 January 2010 01:31:38

I am Mrs Elizabeth Etters, a devoted Christian. I have a foundation/Estate uncompleted {valued at USD 2,142,728.00 Dollars} and need you to help me finish it because of my health, Everything is available. Please contact me for more details on my private mail:

thank you.
I thought: that sounds great, but doesn't she have some family she can give the money to? And $2.1 million isn't that much, really; I mean it's only about £1.4 million at current exchange rates. Frankly I don't get out of bed for less than £2 million of non-existent internet money. And who is this Alan Armitage? Maybe he's the faithful family lawyer or something. Then today I get this slightly longer missive:
From: Elizabeth Etters (
Sent: 31 March 2010 06:49:43

Dear Friend,
I am Mrs. Elizabeth Etters from Kuwait, married to Late Engr.W Etters, who worked with MULTINATIONAL OIL COMPANY COLE GAS EXXON AS A DRILLING RIG SUPPLIER in Kuwait for 19 years as a manger and a share holder before he died on the 22nd August 2008. We were married for twenty four years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only 4 days.

Before his death, we deposited the sum of GBP 2.1 million Pounds with a bank in London with my name and this fund is presently with the bank awaiting my disbursement as beneficiary. Recently, my Doctor told me that i would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate these funds to an organization or good person that will utilize this money in good faith. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money. I kept this deposit secret till date. All i need right now is your sincerity and details to prepare the required document to be sent to the bank making you the sole benficiary of the said funds, i.e my next of kin. this must include your full names and country address

I don't think i will need any telephone communication in this regard because of the confidentiality of this transfer. Upon your reply to my private email: {}, I shall direct you on how to claim the funds.
Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Yours Truly,
Mrs Elizabeth Etters.
OK, so we've cleared up the issue of family, as her husband is dead. It would have been better if instead of being Engr. W. Etters he'd had some form of teaching qualification, and hence been B.Ed. W. Etters, but I digress. And the money seems to have magically become £2.1 million, which is nice. I don't know about "utilize this money in good faith", though - I was just going to spunk it on sports cars and cake.

So I was just about to enquire how to claim my money when I discovered the offer may not be as completely legit and above board as it appears to be. Imagine my disappointment. According to this website the sums offered range up to $60 million and above, so frankly I feel a bit insulted by the size of this one anyway.

1 comment:

Emma said...

Received one the other week even less intelligible than Mrs Etters: a sample sentence "Your good individual as a close relation of the late is caused to be the fact that the late one was a Foreigner and this foreigner is considered that it is you." It was offering £15 million though.