Wednesday, February 11, 2009

no trial, no jury, straight to execution

People are scum, aren't they? I mean, not you personally, obviously, but people in general. And sure, the wheel, the printed word, the propelling pencil, walking on the moon and all, but still, the general average quality of randomly selected members of the human race is disappointingly low. I have a couple of examples in support of my thesis:

1) bastards

Someone drove into my car yesterday. Not particularly hard, just hard enough to leave a small dink in the driver's side rear door, just by the door handle, and a smear of bluish-white paint. A careless parking manoeuvre sort of accident rather than a high speed death crash, but still. Since I wasn't in the car when it happened, and they weren't troubled by enough simple human decency to own up and accept the savage yet proportionate and humane beating that was coming to them, I don't know when it happened or who it was. I suspect it was while I was parked up at Tesco at lunchtime.

What's more chickenshit than fucking with a man's automobile? I mean, don't fuck with another man's vehicle.

2) idiots

If you were opening a shop and (presumably) paying for the services of a signwriter, even if the shop was a bit of a fly-by-night operation and the sign was just a bit of nailed up printed canvas, you'd think you might take the trouble to get it spelt correctly. Or, if you were the signwriter and words were, in a very real sense, your business, you'd think you might a) notice and b) have a word. Quite literally.

This is just round the corner from my house, and is, of course, technically entirely accurate, in that the shop isn't moving around at all. Not quite the meaning they were intending to get across, though, I'd guess. As Andy will tell you, given half a chance:

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