Ordinarily I don't lower myself to showbiz gossip, but I see that singer, guitarist and all-round spotty little herbert Alex Turner of The Arctic Monkeys is "dating" (that's a showbiz media term meaning "rogering") TV presenter Alexa Chung, who is very attractive, though a couple of good solid roast dinners wouldn't do her any harm. I wonder if they'll have fun tonight? And, furthermore, if he'll Wang Chung tonight? I know I would.
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