the pickled sprouts followed by the crabmeat phal

I'm not going to dress this up in any sort of pseudo-philosophical flummery or try to intellectually justify it in any way; what follows is some schoolboy sniggering at perfectly innocent use of the word "wood". Firstly on the packaging for some felt pads of the sort you put under the legs of furniture to stop them scratching your delicate floors:

Secondly on the packaging for a stair-gate to stop your kids from faceplanting into those same floors from the dizzy heights of the upstairs landing:

Finally here's the front page of the menu from our excellent local Indian restaurant, the Jewel Balti.

I'm going to charitably ignore the careless apostrophe abuse in the middle of the page and focus instead on the claim made on the right, about a third of the way down. Here it is:

I'll bet they are. Especially if they had the squid vindaloo.