Friday, November 07, 2008

joanna bumley

I don't know what sequence of random external stimuli made my train of thought turn to the subject of Joanna Lumley's anus, but it happens to us all from time to time, as I'm sure you're aware.

The only reason I mention it is this: does anyone know where the persistent arse-related rumour about Joanna Lumley originated? I would call it, as most do, a "persistent internet rumour", but I'm aware that it pre-dates most people's contact with the internet. I first heard it when I was a student at the tail-end of the 1980s, and I can tell you I'd never done any internetting at that point. That said it is now all over the internet, though there's no indication of where it originated. There are even two Facebook groups dedicated to perpetuating it. Most strange of all is its mention as an aside in a brief article about something quite disturbing. Links are all pretty much SFW in terms of images etc., by the way, though there is some sweary language (understandably lavish use of the word "arse", mainly).

Apparently the rumour about Bob Holness playing the saxophone solo on Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street was started by Stuart Maconie; no-one's taking responsibility for this one though, as far as I can see.

But there isn't a Snopes article debunking it, so I therefore conclude that it must be true. In support of this conclusion I offer you this apparently real news story about a woman in Germany who went into hospital for a routine leg operation but instead emerged having been fitted with an artificial anus.

["Darmausgang" appears to be German for "anus", by the way. Literal translation would be something like "intestinal exit", which I suppose makes a certain amount of sense. Be careful to capitalise the first "D" or you get "california exit", which is a bit weirder. Maybe that's where they make the plastic ones?]

Maybe Joanna was the victim of a similar mix-up?


Unknown said...

Joanna Lumley was awarded an OBE in 1995. She is also a Fellow of the Royal Geographical Society (FRGS). In 2006 she was awarded an honorary degree from the University of St. Andrews and in July 2008, she was also awarded an honorary doctorate from the Queen's University Belfast.



Anonymous said...

Joanna Lumley has a plastic arse if i remember correctly originated in a copy of that well known geordie comic book "The Viz", there used to be a section of news articles and rumor colums and i distinctly remember an article titled "joanna lumley has a plastic arse" that detailed how some cocaine related bum fun caused her arse to rot and indeed required replacing with a placca one however i always assumed this to be a fellow viz readers obscure and frankly genius imagination. - Dass